Jim, what are you doing here?
Well, I thought you had said...
You can't just stand out here.
Loo, I need your help.
Nadia's coming back and I don't...
I don't wanna be this awkward...bumbling, nervous guy with her.
I don't wanna seem like a dork.
Well, I know that feeling.
Spend your life playing in the band...it doesn't exactly give you the ultra-cool hipster image.
- I think you're pretty cool. - Seriously?
Michele, why did you ditch me after prom?
I didn't ditch you. I just...
Our date was over.
I mean, did you want some...funky, weird, next-morning goodbye?
It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something.
Why would I pretend that?
Guys do that.
Yeah, well, I'm not like other guys.
I know.
Okay, I'm gonna help you.
Really?
Yeah, I feel bad for saying that you sucked...even though you kind of did.
Let's just get started.
- Now, I'm a hot girl. - Right.
- Okay, what do you wanna do? - I wanna feel your boobs.
No, you dingbat.
You don't just go groping away.
You gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey.
Kiss me, here.
Good. Okay, now...the collarbone... kiss.
Good, Jim.
You're making me so wet.
Holy shit. Really?
No, I was just saying that so you could practise.
Of course.
Does direction matter, like clockwise, counter clockwise?
Okay, Jim, this is what I'm talking about.
Your main problem is you're so uptight.
Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No.
The biggest pointer I could give you is...you have to feel comfortable in any situation.
Stand up.
hum...
Stand up.
- Now, this is a fucked-up situation. - What happened to preheating?
- We're skipping a few chapters. - Oh, okay.
This is good. This is good. Obviously.
- Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. - What?
You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual.
I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower.
I'm sorry. Yeah, nonsexual.
Right, right. Okay.
- Chairs. - Good.
Mastodons.
Cleaning my bathroom.
Dung beetles.
Okay. Now, don't freak out.
I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.
Oh, that's cold! What are you doing?
I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?
Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold.
Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. We can finish lessons.
Pointer... less tongue.
